GLOSSARY ENTRY (DERIVED FROM QUESTION BELOW) | ||||||
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13:01 Dec 10, 2017 |
English language (monolingual) [Non-PRO] Bus/Financial - General / Conversation / Greetings / Letters | |||||||
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| Selected response from: Charles Davis Spain Local time: 00:24 | ||||||
Grading comment
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SUMMARY OF ALL EXPLANATIONS PROVIDED | ||||
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4 +3 | change "supporting" to "support" and cut "while" |
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Discussion entries: 5 | |
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supporting ....while change "supporting" to "support" and cut "while" Explanation: The sentence is: "Our all-embracing services supporting individuals, families and employees while doing business and trading, studying or travelling or moving to different countries all over the world." Grammatically I think there are two issues. First, there is no main verb. This can be fixed by changing "supporting" to "support". Second, "while" is wrong and should be deleted. If you say "Our services support individuals etc. while doing business", it means that the services are doing business, but you mean that they support individuals etc. while the individuals etc. are doing business. Apart from this, "all-embracing" is not wrong, but "comprensive" or "all-inclusive" might be more natural. The other point that I would mention is that the list "doing business and trading, studying or travelling or moving" is a bit messy. I presume you want "doing busines and trading" to go together as one unit, but in "studying or travelling or moving" there seems to be one "or" too many. I suppose you are distinguishing between "travelling" (temporarily) and "moving" (permanently), but I would still cut the first "or". So you might change it to this: "Our comprehensive services support individuals, families and employees doing business and trading, studying, travelling or moving to different countries all over the world." I think that's better, though I bet colleagues will want to make further changes! |
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