the will of the conductor interprets with true virtuosity

English translation: conveys the will of the conductor without false virtuosity

GLOSSARY ENTRY (DERIVED FROM QUESTION BELOW)
English term or phrase:translates, without false virtuosity, the will of the conductor
Selected answer:conveys the will of the conductor without false virtuosity
Entered by: Tony M

11:32 Apr 13, 2012
English language (monolingual) [PRO]
Art/Literary - Music / Journalistic Article on conductor
English term or phrase: the will of the conductor interprets with true virtuosity
I am translating from another language, an article about a conductor.

The literal translation would read:

"The gest is elegant, bold, precise and translates, without false virtuosity, the will of the conductor"

I thought leaving it this way would sound a bit it clumsy so I have tried to restructure the phrases like so:

"With an elegant, bold, and precise gesture, the will of the conductor interprets with true virtuosity."

However, I am not sure if it is correct to say that "the WILL of the conductor INTERPRETS". Could this be said? Or have I gone a bit far in reorganising the ideas?
Lara Barnett
United Kingdom
Local time: 02:30
Certainly not your proposed improvement
Explanation:
The overall intended meaning is actually a little unclear, perhaps from lack of the surrounding context. However, here's one suggestion that I think does at least make some sense, and reads less clunkily:

"Elegant, bold, precise gestures convey the conductor's will without false virtuosity."

We really need to know if this is one particular gesture (which I doubt), or just the ensemble of the conductor's gestures? It seems to me that the source language (and it might help to know what it is?) could be one of those languages like FR that sometimes uses a def. art. + sg where in EN we use a 'generalizing' plural with no article at all; if this were the case, then it might help to try it this way, as I have suggested above.

Secondly, the original 'literal' translation is ambiguous: ought we to read that "the will of the conductor interprets (the music) thus" —

--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 2 hrs (2012-04-13 14:20:03 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------

Well, it is a common enough stylistic device, as in discussing a picture "The line is resolute..." — when we know perfectly well the picture has more than one line in it!

However, I would studiously avoid 'gesturing' — that really means 'the act of using gestures', as in e.g. "All the gesturing in the world won't stop the man from falling off the ladder"; and like 'posturing', runs the risk of being associated with a negative connotation, definitely unwanted here!

"the way s/he uses gesture" might be one way of avoiding 'gesturing'.
Selected response from:

Tony M
France
Local time: 03:30
Grading comment
Thank you for such thorough explanations.
4 KudoZ points were awarded for this answer



SUMMARY OF ALL EXPLANATIONS PROVIDED
4 +5I'd stick to your original
Alison Sparks (X)
4 +1is conveyed/interpreted with true virtuosity
katsy
3 +2Certainly not your proposed improvement
Tony M
4reflects/demonstrates the conductor's will/interpretation without false virtuosity
Gert Sass (M.A.)


Discussion entries: 7





  

Answers


4 mins   confidence: Answerer confidence 4/5Answerer confidence 4/5 peer agreement (net): +5
I'd stick to your original


Explanation:
Your second effort doesn't work imo. But use gesture not gest

Alison Sparks (X)
Local time: 03:30
Meets criteria
Native speaker of: English

Peer comments on this answer (and responses from the answerer)
agree  Martin Riordan
3 mins
  -> Thanks Martin

agree  Jack Doughty
12 mins
  -> thanks Jack

agree  Colin Rowe: Agree with both your comments
52 mins
  -> Thanks Colin

agree  Veronika McLaren
1 hr
  -> Thanks Veronika

agree  PAS: use "conveys" instead of "translates". Also, doesn't the syntax strike anyone as being a bit convoluted?
1 hr
  -> Thanks. Not convoluted when you read other descriptions of musical events!
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1 hr   confidence: Answerer confidence 4/5Answerer confidence 4/5 peer agreement (net): +1
is conveyed/interpreted with true virtuosity


Explanation:
I feel that "the will of the conductor interprets" is unclear - one asks - "interprets WHAT?" (capitals just to emphasise, not to shout!)
I think the passive is more meaningful and tranlsates better what you watn to say.

--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 1 hr (2012-04-13 13:29:16 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------

sorry for typos ... translates better what you want to convey


katsy
Local time: 03:30
Meets criteria
Native speaker of: Native in EnglishEnglish
Notes to answerer
Asker: Thank you.


Peer comments on this answer (and responses from the answerer)
agree  Tina Vonhof (X): I would still prefer the active voice: with bold gestures the conductor conveys his interpretation (of the music) with true virtuosity.
1 hr
  -> thank you Tina! - though I feel it is his will , not the interpretation which is conveyed by the gestures...
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2 hrs   confidence: Answerer confidence 3/5Answerer confidence 3/5 peer agreement (net): +2
Certainly not your proposed improvement


Explanation:
The overall intended meaning is actually a little unclear, perhaps from lack of the surrounding context. However, here's one suggestion that I think does at least make some sense, and reads less clunkily:

"Elegant, bold, precise gestures convey the conductor's will without false virtuosity."

We really need to know if this is one particular gesture (which I doubt), or just the ensemble of the conductor's gestures? It seems to me that the source language (and it might help to know what it is?) could be one of those languages like FR that sometimes uses a def. art. + sg where in EN we use a 'generalizing' plural with no article at all; if this were the case, then it might help to try it this way, as I have suggested above.

Secondly, the original 'literal' translation is ambiguous: ought we to read that "the will of the conductor interprets (the music) thus" —

--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 2 hrs (2012-04-13 14:20:03 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------

Well, it is a common enough stylistic device, as in discussing a picture "The line is resolute..." — when we know perfectly well the picture has more than one line in it!

However, I would studiously avoid 'gesturing' — that really means 'the act of using gestures', as in e.g. "All the gesturing in the world won't stop the man from falling off the ladder"; and like 'posturing', runs the risk of being associated with a negative connotation, definitely unwanted here!

"the way s/he uses gesture" might be one way of avoiding 'gesturing'.

Tony M
France
Local time: 03:30
Meets criteria
Native speaker of: Native in EnglishEnglish
PRO pts in category: 40
Grading comment
Thank you for such thorough explanations.
Notes to answerer
Asker: The original language is Romania. This is a collection of articles from different journalists who all seem to use "The gesture" ("gestul") in the singular. At some points I have used "his gesturing is....". Thank you for suggestion, it does make sense.


Peer comments on this answer (and responses from the answerer)
agree  Sandra & Kenneth Grossman: Excellent comments
15 hrs
  -> Thanks, Sangro!

agree  Andrew Mason
20 hrs
  -> Thanks, Andrew!
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14 hrs   confidence: Answerer confidence 4/5Answerer confidence 4/5
reflects/demonstrates the conductor's will/interpretation without false virtuosity


Explanation:
I would stick to your 1st attempt in the 1st half (replacing "gest" with "gesture" or "movements", as has been suggested), and continue with one of the above options.


--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 14 hrs (2012-04-14 01:51:33 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------

You may want to note that
(1) the "interpretation"/"translation" of the score takes place in the conductor's mind
(2) " without false virtuosity" and "with true virtuosity" are definitely not the same when it comes to conducting or otherwise performing a piece of music.


Gert Sass (M.A.)
Germany
Local time: 03:30
Does not meet criteria
Specializes in field
Native speaker of: German
Notes to answerer
Asker: Thank you for your comments.

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