Need your opinion

English translation: some ideas...

15:16 Feb 7, 2010
English language (monolingual) [PRO]
Science - Nutrition
English term or phrase: Need your opinion
Hello. I apologize for asking this here but I heard posts may take as long as 2 days to be posted and this job is due tomorrow morning. The text is already in English, I only need to correct it. I would like to know what the native English speakers out there think of these 3 sentences:

The situation on micronutrient deficiencies in children is particularly scarce in terms of iron, zinc and vitamin A deficiencies.

Plasma zinc showed small, nonsignificant differences between mean quartile plasma zinc levels in relation to dietary zinc consumption (Table 4).

Options for nutritious variety of dietary intake could contribute towards enriching the quality of foods consumed by this population without necessarily costing the household more given nutritional counseling is available in socio-economically deprived communities.

I did not write these sentences so you can be totally honest. :) Are the sentences clear? Can you understand them? Are they grammatically and linguistically correct?

Thank you so much for your help. I will pick the answer with the most agrees.
Luiza Modesto
Brazil
Local time: 21:49
Selected answer:some ideas...
Explanation:
Micronutrient deficiencies in children are particularly serious as regards iron, zinc and vitamin A.

Small, nonsignificant differences were observed between mean quartile plasma zinc levels in relation to dietary zinc consumption (Table 4).

Increased nutrient* variety (in dietary intake**) could contribute towards enriching the quality of foods consumed by this population, without necessarily costing the household more, provided*** that nutritional counseling is available in socio-economically deprived communities.

* The noun 'nutrient' is better than the adjective 'nutritious' here.
** This phrase could be omitted - it's clear from the context.
*** The original 'given that' implies that such counseling IS available, but I suspect the author really wants to say that increased nutrient diversity will only be useful IF counseling is provided.
Selected response from:

Jennifer Levey
Chile
Local time: 21:49
Grading comment
I was told that this post was removed but i can still see it. ? Thank you all so much for your help and comments. :)
4 KudoZ points were awarded for this answer



SUMMARY OF ALL EXPLANATIONS PROVIDED
3 +3some ideas...
Jennifer Levey
4Some amendments made
Jack Doughty


Discussion entries: 8





  

Answers


7 mins   confidence: Answerer confidence 4/5Answerer confidence 4/5
need your opinion
Some amendments made


Explanation:


The situation on micronutrient deficiencies in children is that there are particular deficiencies in terms of iron, zinc and vitamin A.

Plasma zinc showed small, insignificant differences between mean quartile plasma zinc levels in relation to dietary zinc consumption (Table 4).

Nutritious variety in dietary intake could contribute towards enriching the quality of foods consumed by this population without necessarily costing the household more, given that nutritional counseling is available in socio-economically deprived communities.

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Note added at 17 mins (2010-02-07 15:34:52 GMT)
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Second sentence: Simply "There were" would be better than "Plasma zinc showed", since plasma zinc is specified anyway.
There were small, insignificant differences between mean quartile plasma zinc levels in relation to dietary zinc consumption (Table 4).

Jack Doughty
United Kingdom
Local time: 00:49
Native speaker of: English
Login to enter a peer comment (or grade)

41 mins   confidence: Answerer confidence 3/5Answerer confidence 3/5 peer agreement (net): +3
need your opinion
some ideas...


Explanation:
Micronutrient deficiencies in children are particularly serious as regards iron, zinc and vitamin A.

Small, nonsignificant differences were observed between mean quartile plasma zinc levels in relation to dietary zinc consumption (Table 4).

Increased nutrient* variety (in dietary intake**) could contribute towards enriching the quality of foods consumed by this population, without necessarily costing the household more, provided*** that nutritional counseling is available in socio-economically deprived communities.

* The noun 'nutrient' is better than the adjective 'nutritious' here.
** This phrase could be omitted - it's clear from the context.
*** The original 'given that' implies that such counseling IS available, but I suspect the author really wants to say that increased nutrient diversity will only be useful IF counseling is provided.

Jennifer Levey
Chile
Local time: 21:49
Native speaker of: Native in EnglishEnglish
PRO pts in category: 4
Grading comment
I was told that this post was removed but i can still see it. ? Thank you all so much for your help and comments. :)

Peer comments on this answer (and responses from the answerer)
agree  British Diana: It is understandable now, it wasn't before!
2 hrs

agree  Tina Vonhof (X): Excellent.
5 hrs

agree  Federica Masante
16 hrs
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