Oct 11, 2006 21:26
17 yrs ago
Italiano term
Ti contempla la pietra...
Da Italiano a Inglese
Arte/Letteratura
Poesia e Prosa
poetry
Any poets out there? This is a line from a poem. The poet is visiting his native island, take a walk on a stone pier where he used to play as a child. The last verse reads: "Ti contempla la pietra e non ti riconosce." As much as I understand and appreciate the meaning of the sentence, I cannot find a way to say it without destroying the rhythm and flow of the line. Any good ideas?
Proposed translations
(Inglese)
Proposed translations
+1
3 ore
Italiano term (edited):
Ti contempla la pietra e non ti riconosce
Selected
The stone beholds you, and yet does not see you
Ciao Fiorsam
"does not see you" isn't quite right, but I can't think of a better one syllable verb - unless you prefer "does not know you"
Btw, does your poem have anything to do with this
http://boards3.melodysoft.com/app?ID=poesiaypoetas&msg=50
"does not see you" isn't quite right, but I can't think of a better one syllable verb - unless you prefer "does not know you"
Btw, does your poem have anything to do with this
http://boards3.melodysoft.com/app?ID=poesiaypoetas&msg=50
Peer comment(s):
| agree |
P.L.F. Persio
: se il poema è questo, allora è la città che non è riconosciuta dalla pietra; non vi leggo malinconia, bensì un distacco sereno. La tua versione mi piace molissimo
5 ore
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grazie, sofiablu ;-)
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4 KudoZ points awarded for this answer.
Comment: "It was a difficult choice. Every answer had something to offer. I will end up combining some of the elements of a number of different answers, but Linda's was the one that came the closest to the intrinsic meaning of the original. Un grazie di cuore a tutti. E arrivederci spero, perche' il lavoro non e' finito."
57 min
Kenan Atalay
Turchia
Turchia
Turchia
Precise.
Native in: Turco (Variant: Standard-İstanbul )
Works in: Da Inglese a Turco, Da Turco a Inglese, Da Italiano a Turco
you ponder the pier
just a suggestion,
[it makes] you ponder the pier,
that you no longer recall
[it makes] you ponder the pier,
that you no longer recall
1 ora
Melissa Stanfield
Australia
Australia
Native in Inglese
Specializes in field
Australia
NAATI Accr. Italian-English Translator
Native in: Inglese (Variant: Australian)
Works in: Da Italiano a Inglese, Inglese
The stone regards you and fails to recognise you
Another alternative - I hope I am understanding this right in that the poet is personifying the stone as an old resident of the island who does not recall the man who lived there as a boy?
1 ora
texjax DDS PhD
Native in Italiano
Degree + PhD in Dentistry, ATA-Certified
Native in: Italiano 
Works in: Da Inglese a Italiano, Da Italiano a Inglese, Italiano
Related KudoZ points
:
32
the stone gazes and don't recall (you)
sono sentimentale stasera.
bella frase..
bella frase..
+1
5 ore
The stones observe you but do not remember
For some reason, the plural seems to me to flow more.
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Note added at 5 hrs (2006-10-12 02:33:40 GMT)
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Or "the stones regard you but do not remember", for a little bit of alliteration.
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Note added at 5 hrs (2006-10-12 02:33:40 GMT)
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Or "the stones regard you but do not remember", for a little bit of alliteration.
Peer comment(s):
| agree |
Melissa Stanfield
: I like the plural too/although having read fiorsam's note, i think it is a specific stone
1 ora
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+1
58 min
Melissa Stanfield
Australia
Australia
Native in Inglese
Specializes in field
Australia
NAATI Accr. Italian-English Translator
Native in: Inglese (Variant: Australian)
Works in: Da Italiano a Inglese, Inglese
The stone takes you in but does not remember you
So many different ways! Sounds like a lovely poem.
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Note added at 6 hrs (2006-10-12 03:37:00 GMT)
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Even "a" stone may flow better
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Note added at 6 hrs (2006-10-12 03:43:38 GMT)
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Having read the further explanation by fiorsam, I think it needs to remain "the stone"
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Note added at 6 hrs (2006-10-12 03:37:00 GMT)
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Even "a" stone may flow better
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Note added at 6 hrs (2006-10-12 03:43:38 GMT)
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Having read the further explanation by fiorsam, I think it needs to remain "the stone"
Peer comment(s):
| agree |
Kenan Atalay
: I'd like to see the whole poem
4 min
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yes, even just this stanza - it sounds like a very melancholy poem, doesn't it
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11 ore
Laura Cincotta
Italia
Italia
Native in Inglese
Specializes in field
Italia
Excellence in IT>EN translation & copy
Native in: Inglese (Variant: US)
Works in: Da Italiano a Inglese, Inglese
Related KudoZ points
:
4
The stone observes your passing and does not recognize you
Just giving it a shot! This phrase has the same number of syllables as the original, though I prefer the following:
"The stone observes your passing and does not know you"
"The stone observes your passing and does not know you"
Discussion