Aug 27, 2008 14:23
15 yrs ago
English term
Veni Vidi Vici
Native in: Russian 
, Ukrainian
Works in: Russian to English, English to Russian, Ukrainian to English, and 5 more.
Illustration: The Suggested New Appearance of XXX
English
Tech/Engineering
Computers: Software
It's a heading for a picture in a software requirement specification document and XXX is name of software component.
I feel that there is probably too many words in this heading ;)
Maybe someone can suggest a better version.
Thank you all in advance!
I feel that there is probably too many words in this heading ;)
Maybe someone can suggest a better version.
Thank you all in advance!
Responses
+3
1 hr
Selected
XXX - Suggested new look
succint heading style... - depending on what style you are employing, capitalize everything.
options:
(The) XXX's suggested new look
options:
(The) XXX's suggested new look
4 KudoZ points awarded for this answer.
Comment: "Selected automatically based on peer agreement."
+2
3 mins
the suggested new appearance of xxx
just delete "illustration" - it's obvious
Peer comment(s):
| neutral |
Taña Dalglish
: W/out context, it is difficult to ascertain whether "Illustration:" is needed. If you use suggested/proposed, it is new, best to split words. I understood what you were saying, but we were looking at it fr diff. angles. Didn't mean to be diff. G. luck!
6 mins
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You need "new", because a new appearance is being suggested (a change from the old appearance).
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| agree |
Ken Cox
: you can also delete 'the', as compact text is often used in captions\\and for Alexander's benefit, only the first word of a caption is capitalised
6 mins
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yes, depends on the style of the text
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| agree |
Phong Le
10 hrs
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+3
13 mins
Paula Vaz-Carreiro
Native in English
&
English
Benchmark Translations
Native in: Portuguese , English
Works in: Portuguese, English to Portuguese, Portuguese to English, and 1 more.
The new look suggested for xxx
OR maybe
(The) new look suggested for xxx
I'd substitute 'appearance' for 'look' if can, although there is nothing wrong with 'appearance' - it is just 'look' sounds better to me. HTH
(As for withdrawing the word "illustration", that depends a bit on context and it is difficult to give an opinion)
(The) new look suggested for xxx
I'd substitute 'appearance' for 'look' if can, although there is nothing wrong with 'appearance' - it is just 'look' sounds better to me. HTH
(As for withdrawing the word "illustration", that depends a bit on context and it is difficult to give an opinion)
Peer comment(s):
| agree |
Mark Nathan
: Yes this probably is better, I was focusing on the grammar and the number of words
27 mins
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Thanks Mark. I felt that the original sounded clunky, if you see what I mean... :-)
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| agree |
Nesrin
: I also think "proposed" may be better than "suggested" here ("proposed new look")
1 hr
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That's a good improvement. Thanks N.
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| agree |
Pham Huu Phuoc
16 hrs
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Thanks :-)
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